The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating in Recovery

You don’t have to wine and dine your partner to enjoy Valentine’s Day. In fact, forming a genuine connection with someone on a date can actually be more fun when you remove drugs and alcohol. Tampa, FL is full of fun dating options that won’t put your recovery at risk. Read on to learn more about dating while in recovery.

1. Do follow the one-year rule (on your terms).

It is recommended that people recovering from a substance use disorder shouldn’t date or start a new relationship during the first year of sobriety. Why wait a year? According to psychologist Anne Lewis, “the first year of sobriety is fraught with challenging issues.” And let’s face it, dating relationships can be stressful.¹ It may be best to follow this guideline and give yourself enough time to build confidence in your sobriety and in the new person you have become. However, if you don’t feel secure in your sobriety after 1 year, you can still wait longer. On the other hand, you may meet someone at 8 months sober and feel ready to date. It may be best to talk with your sponsor or therapist and share your concerns about dating.

2. Don’t date someone in recovery with you.

Navigating the ups and downs of your own sobriety is challenging enough without the added stress of emotionally supporting someone going through a similar process. Dating someone recently sober and struggling with the same triggers may enable you both to relapse. Plus, if you are at all the same recovery groups and meetings, it may create a difficult and awkward situation if it ends in a breakup.

3. Do focus on self-care.

It is recommended that the first year of recovery should be focused on you and your needs only. A lot of the focus in a new relationship is on your new partner, which is not where you want to focus your time when you are newly in recovery, as tempting as it may be. If you are feeling romantic or miss doting on a partner, treat yourself instead. Take yourself out to dinner, treat yourself to a movie, or cook your favorite meal and have a night in. Focus on self-care before you focus on caring for someone else.

4. Don’t put yourself in tempting situations.

If you are dating someone who is not sober, make sure you’re honest and go to places that won’t trigger a relapse. Do not try to “tough it out” and over-exert your newfound control. Tampa, FL has many unique places to take a date if you don’t drink including²:

• Imagine Museum.
• Datz
• Congo River Golf.
• The Great Escape Room.
• Adventure Island.

5. Do take your time

Don’t be pressured by others saying you should “get back out there”, you know yourself best. If one year isn’t enough for you, take two. The New York Times best-selling author of “Blackout: Remembering The Things I Drank to Forget” took two years off from dating. She said that for her, it took a long time to “feel comfortable being known and seen”.

6. Don’t hide your sobriety

Your strength and perseverance in healing a significant mental disorder like addiction is an amazing accomplishment and something that speaks to your courage and tenacity. It should not be something you are ashamed of or try to hide.

If you do decide to date in the first year of recovery, or if you have spent the year focusing on your recovery and are ready to put yourself out there and date, don’t hide your sobriety. There are a lot of great online dating apps created to support sober dating including³:

• Sober Grid.
• I Am Sober.
• SoberSinglesDate.
• Clean and sober love.
• Loosid.

Other apps not specifically targeted toward people in recovery can also be a great option for online dating. Hinge and other dating apps allow preferred members to filter based on drug and alcohol use preferences. You don’t have to share everything, but make sure you are honest and clear that you are in recovery and do not drink or do drugs.

Recovery is a lifelong process, if you are struggling reach out to our team at River Oaks Treatment Center near Tampa, FL available 24/7 at for support.